bitterSWEET

My wedding day was bittersweet. You might find this strange - weddings evoke images of love and happiness and not tears and heartache...

mine had both.

After 6 years of dating, 2 daschunds, a beautiful home and a huge circle of friends - Nic asked me to marry him on Christmas day 2003. It was a beautiful moment in our own garden, I said yes. We did not want a huge wedding or a long engagement, Nic was completeing his MBA at GIBS, my parents were living in Mozambique, Nic's brother was in Singapore, his sister in London and Claire in the States........so we tried to find a date that would suit everyone - an exercise I will never try to attempt again! Eventually, we set the date as 24th April 2004 and so be it - to me a nice round number with a ring to it!! :) and we decided to get married in a beautiful, special trout fishing town called Dullstroom.

All our friends and family congregated at Dunkeld Country Estate - our wedding venue - on the friday before the wedding.........it was wonderful to see everyone, to all catch up and join in the celebration. My Mom, sisters and aunts all got stuck in with arranging flowers. My bridesmaids pampered and spoilt me and the boys went fishing! A typical South African scenario but a celebration of note.

I was feeling such joy, it was the first time in a long time that I had all my loved ones around me and was especially grateful to see my Gramps. He was known as GGG (Great Grandpa George) and had always been my sane, no-nonsense sage. My grandfather who believed I could do anything and become anything I wanted - he encouraged me to be strong, work hard and believed that all of life's riches would be bestowed upon me. He had a wicked dry sense of humour, was an absolute stoic who never complained about anything and a damn stubborn Scotsman to boot as well. He was every little girl's dream of a grandfather and I think his stubborness was his blessing given to me from birth! GGG died the night before my wedding - surrounded by most of his loved ones and with as little fuss and drama that he could've hoped for.

He was not a demonstrative man - and my mother his only daughter, who loved him beyond words, told me that he chose to die at my wedding - to ensure that the focus would not be on him and that he knew I would be strong enough to deal with having such a tragic event take place at such a joyful celebration. He was almost right - while I was not strong enough to have gone through with my wedding regardless - my mother was. She was a rock, unbelievably gracious in her grieving and stood up and told all our wedding guests that there would come a time to mourn the loss of her precious father but that today - on her daughter's wedding day - we would celebrate his LIFE! and we did...........it was a fantastic day .........it was special and poignant and bittersweet.........and it was the day that I cemented my love for my husband ...........and my mother.